HeroMenace
by Houkaru Kisaragi
Summary: Naruto is born with extraordinary superpowers, but unlike the stereotypical righteous superheros, he prefers an edgy and insouciant lifestyle. That all change when he unwittingly saves Anko's life.
1. Prologue

Summary: Naruto is born with extraordinary superpowers, but unlike the stereotypical righteous superheros, he prefers an edgy and insouciant lifestyle. That all change when he unwittingly saves Anko's life.

This story is inspired by the movie/TV shows, Smallville and Hancock. I just realised that Gaara has control of sand, Yugito can control flames, Kirabi can controls ink, Utakata can controls bubble. So Naruto should be able to do something awesome, right?

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(~Prologue: Don't call me an Asshole~)

Jinchuriki, a paramount entity that possessed phenomenal strength and anomalous prowess, were often ostracised by the judgemental society; they were classified as demons due to exigent circumstances and ubiquity misconceptions. A familiar trait every jailor shared was the fact that they inherited exceptional powers from their diabolical demons sealed within their souls.

The fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze, had the Kyubi no Yoko synchronised its soul with Naruto's and in return, the malevolent fox involuntarily gave the blonde transcendental power. Herculean strength, ungodly invulnerability, capability of flight, tremendous speed and eidetic memories, these were the unearthly powers transferred to Naruto by a reluctant Kyubi. For survival's sake, Kyubi endured his diminished pride; after all, if Naruto died, he would be dragged to hell subsequently.

What's worst? Jail or hell? It isn't a rocket science question and the fox knew it.

Of course, those powers bestowed upon the blonde came with a price.

Naruto's ability to produce ninjutsu was stripped away.

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(8 years later...)

"What am I, grandpa?" Naruto, dressed in a causal orange hooded jacket, plain dark shirt and jeans, stood at the apex of the Hokage tower with his surrogate grandfather, Sarutobi Hiruzen. "Tell me the truth."

The old Hokage sighed as he held his hands behind his back. "You're normal, just like everybody else."

"Normal?" The blonde scoffed. In a spur of moment, Naruto seized the dagger stashed on Sarutobi's waist and stabbed his hand. The Hokage widened his eyes in horror and grasped the blonde's hand, stupefied at his surrogate grandson's drastic and impulsive action. "What are you doing!"

"What am I doing?" Naruto handed the weapon to his terrified surrogate grandfather. The dagger was broken, and the blonde's arm was perfectly unharmed. "You call this normal? Is this what you call normal? I'm not an idiot, grandpa! I can differentiate what's normal and what's not. This is not normal! And you know what's spooky? I can hear people's whispers like a stereo blast at full volume! I'm a freak!"

"You're not a freak, Naruto! You're special!" Sarutobi scolded.

Naruto rolled his eyes in suppressed anger. "Yeah, just now I'm normal, now I'm special. Right. What's next? I'm the main character in the next Icha Icha series?"

"Naruto! You must have faith in yourself. You're gifted. And with these gifts come with great responsibility." The Hokage stared through Naruto's pair of sapphire orbs and lectured. "You have so much potential in you, Naruto. You are born for greatness."

"Greatness? People scheming my demises every seconds and lousy teachers sabotaging my test papers… Is that what you call greatness? Cause if it is, I rather be a hooligan than to help a bunch of ungrateful trashes." Naruto yelled in palpable rage. "Tell me the truth, grandpa. What am I?"

Sarutobi opened his mouth, but no coherent noises came out. The blonde sighed in defeat, his golden bangs casted an ominous shadow over his eyes. "I guess that's that. In the end, I'm still a freak."

"No! Naruto, listen to me. Look at me, Naruto." Naruto reluctantly stared at the aged Hokage. "Your powers are a gift to you. You must learn to use it wisely at the appropriate time. Until I can tell you the truth... you must suppress your powers and not let anybody knows about it."

"I'm sorry... but I won't let anybody controls me just because of my powers."

Within split seconds, Naruto vanished into a sonic blur, speeding through the village in an unrivalled velocity and leaving orange afterimages trailing his tracks. The old Hokage took a heavy puff from his pipe and tiled his head up to the darken sky, guilt and sorrow reflected upon his wrinkled face. "I'm sorry. Minato, Kushina, I have failed the two of you."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Naruto was seating in his favourite spot in an extravagant pub, his feet delinquently on the antiquated table and a bottle of unfinished whiskey in his hand. His body was immune to any fatal toxicities, alcohol was no quandary. Rin, a brunette bar owner who owned the notorious Rose Queen Bar and had a masculine tendency to wear tuxedo, ambled gracefully towards her beloved customer with a disappointed frown adoring on her enchanting features. "Naruto! How many times did I tell you not to put your legs on the table? And stop drinking! You're what? Eight or something? You're not legally mature enough to drink!"

Turning his lazy attention at his surrogate elder sister, Naruto sighed as he removed his feet from the table and whined. "Come on, tomboy, it is impossible for me to have a hangover. Besides, old enough to kill, old enough to drink, old enough to bang chicks dry."

Gritting her teeth in disgust, Rin slapped the younger blonde's head harshly. "No vulgarities in my bar! And who taught you that?"

"My next door neighbour?" Naruto was unfazed by the bar owner's light assault, nothing could penetrate his indestructible skin anyway. "Just leave me alone, tomboy."

"You imbecile little-"

"Big news!" Someone intruded in the bar, screaming ecstatically with a glint of joy sparkling in his eyes. "I heard something big happen in the Hyuga mansion a few minutes ago! Apparently, the Kumo ambassadors are the assassins and they're going to do something huge!"

Upon registering the abrupt news, Rin placed a hand on her hip and stared incredulously at the younger blonde. "Well?"

Naruto arched an impassive brow. "What? You want a candy or something?"

"Go do something about it!" Rin demanded sternly. "If you don't do anything about it, I'm not going to supply you any drinks anymore! You hear me, little twerp?"

Mumbling silent profanities under his breath, Naruto wrestled himself into a standing position sluggishly, cracked his neck and scrutinised the bar owner with a semblance of apathy. "I'm doing this for you... and my whiskey."

Switching his impassive attention to the roof, Naruto soared through the ceiling recklessly and charged towards his designated destination. Fuming at the younger blonde's unruly behaviour, Rin screamed in frustration. "When you return, you're gonna PAY for my ROOF! NARUTO-BAKA!"

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Flying insouciantly in the sky, the blonde caught sight of several ninjas engaging in battle at the garden of a prestigious compound and he dived towards the confrontation. Naruto descended swiftly in the middle of the vehement dispute, creating a diminutive crater underneath him in the process, and scanned vigilantly at his vicinity. Standing on his right was the Hyuga's clan head, Hiashi, and his frail daughter, Hinata, who was cowering behind her father's presence. The hostiles on Naruto's left were two foreign ninjas readied in their fighting stances.

"W-Who are you! How did you do that?" The Kumo Chunin gulped in consternation as he eyed the intruder critically.

"Calm down. I don't care what you are or who you are. I'm not here to judge." Naruto yawned. "And I don't care if you're pulling the stinkin' stick out of those Hyugas' asses but if you don't surrender quietly, I swear to Kami's mother, I will stuff your asses with tampons. Lots and lots of tampons. Trust me, that shit hurts."

Hiashi snarled at the insolent insults, but disregarded it, for now.

"Who do you think you are? Some kind of superboy or shit?" The aggravated Kumo Jonin sneered. "You don't tell us what to do, asshole."

Suddenly, the blonde's eyes widened in stupefaction. "Leave and you might see the next sunset."

"Why asshole?" The Kumo Chunin smirked darkly.

Narrowing his cerulean eyes into vicious slits, Naruto warned. "You gotta stop calling me that."

"Asshole!" The Kumo Jonin chimed in.

"That's not my name."

"Ass - hole!"

Unexpectedly, an iniquitous and boisterous grin tugged at Naruto's lips. "Call me an asshole... one more time."

The Jonin snorted haughtily. "As-"

Inhaling a deep breath, Naruto expelled a mist of arctic chill, freezing the two assailants into statues instantaneously. "Punk asses."

Hiashi and Hinata gasped in horror at the mysterious blonde's miraculous strength. The father and daughter cringed in fear when Naruto switched glances at them. "If they come back again, I'm not going to do jack squat about it. Count yourself lucky this time. And send somebody to defreeze these two fools... or they will seriously die. See ya."

Gesturing a casual goodbye wave, Naruto morphed into a vibrant flash as he blasted into hyper acceleration and darted towards his next destination, leaving two flabbergasted individuals gawking at what had just happened.

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Teuchi was wiping his wok at his counter in his stall, Ichiraku Ramen Bar, when Naruto somewhat manifested in one of his accustomed seat stealthy. "Hey, old man!"

The aged stall owner jolted in fright. "Naruto! How many times did I tell you not to zap around all of a sudden like a ghost all the time? You almost give me a heart attack."

"Yeah, yeah, just give me a bowl of beef. As usual." The blonde rolled his eyes.

"Kids these days." Teuchi kept mumbling as he strolled to do his duty. Ayame approached the counter displeased. "Naruto-chan! Stop scaring my dad like that. So, how have you been?"

"Inane question, sis. What else will I be doing except wandering around the village like a lone wolf?"

"A lone puppy is more like it." Ayame teased, in which Naruto pouted. "I'm always a little puppy to you, sis."

"Because you are." The waitress pinched her surrogate little brother's nose before leaving to the kitchen.

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"So, you're telling me that Naruto saves your daughter from the Kumo nin?" The Hokage contemplated analytically as he stared at the unemotional eyes of the Hyuga leader. "Any reasons why Naruto will do that?"

"That is my second question." Hiashi frowned. "How did that impudent boy even knows how to run like that? It was as if he was travelling at the speed of light. Even my Byakugan couldn't track down his trajectory. Mesmerising it might be, I am indebted to the Jinchuriki."

"This conversation doesn't leaves this room, am I clear, Hiashi-dono?"

"Absolutely."

Sarutobi slumped down into his chair and sighed. "I will interrogate the foreign ninja personally. Until then, act normal and awaits further orders."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"Naruto-chan! Will you go to the supermarket and help me get the fish paste sauce for me? My dad forgot to buy it this morning." Ayame yelled from within the kitchen. The blonde huffed in annoyance. "Am I your maid or something?"

Having said the rhetorical question, Naruto disappeared into a golden lightning, dashing through the streets with unrestrained tenacity. Nobody had seen the blonde when he entered the shopping plaza located numerous miles away from the ramen stall, bolted hurriedly into the market, seized the item without paying and halted his tracks outside the mall at the alley. Checking briefly at the fish paste jar, Naruto grinned satisfactorily.

Before the blonde decided to leave, his fortitude surged instinctively. Glancing at the tenebrous alley, his irises radiated a serene green glow as he scanned the repulsive place fervently. He was startled when his night vision scopes spotted two masked men dragging an unconscious woman into the corner of the alley and started removing her coat.

Naruto sighed and strolled in tranquil towards the despicable men. "Hey! Can you two cut me some slacks and stop what you're doing?"

"Who are you?" The first man, thin and tall, barked angrily. "This is none of your business. So why don't you do yourself a favour and scram!"

The blonde shook his head in disapproval. "No can do. Look, if you don't stop doing whatever you're going to do, I swear to Kami's father, your face will up his ass, and his face will up your ass."

"Fuck you!" The second man, fat and short, snapped aggressively. "If you don't leave, we will bust your fuckin' face, asshole!"

Taking cognition of the profanity directed at him, Naruto growled. "Call me an asshole... one more time."

The tall man walked towards the blonde and poked his chest provokingly. "What are you gonna do about it, asshole?"

Suddenly, Naruto's eyes emanated a sinister vermillion glow before a pair of blazing beams erupted from the blonde's eyes and shot at the tall man's eyes. The man collapsed onto the cold payment, twitching violently and screaming in agony. Witnessing the terror Naruto could inflict, the obese man spun around and run, only to gape at the young blonde mysteriously before him. "I-I'm sorry! You can do whatever you want with the bitch! J-Just let me go... please!"

"It's too late for apologies. You, who are guilty of the law, shall repent for eternity in hell." The atrocious grin curled at Naruto's lips widened impishly. "But first... a little humiliation will do the job."

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Anko thought she was smashed through a building when she woke up from a comfortable bed. Indulging in reminiscence, Anko groggily recalled yelling at several perverted men, threatening to remove their manhood, took a sip of her drink and everything went black next. Surveying the apartment, she noticed the furniture and belongings emitted a masculine sense. "What am I doing in a man's house?"

She had to give the stranger credit; the house held an exquisite design and was awfully dustless. The bedroom was exposed and connected to the living room as she noticed a widescreen plasma TV with a set of sofas. "Oh my god. Did I just sleep with some loser? Oh fuck, my days just keep getting better and-"

"Glad you're awaken." Anko's lavender eyes perked up rapidly as she twisted her attention to the source of the sound hastily. To her dismay, a blonde was seating on the bed, staring stoically at her with a cup of sizzling water in his hand. "Here, drink this. It'll cure your bitch-of-a-hangover pretty quick. And by the way, I'm too young for you."

"You own this apartment?" The Tokubetsu Jonin was perturbed when the blonde nodded and took the cup warily. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"I'm-"

"Anko Mitarashi." Naruto interrupted as he studied his nails in sheer boredom. "Age: 17. Gender: Female. Blood type: A. Height: 165 cm. Weight: 44.6 kg. Ninja registration code: 011226. Become Genin at age 10 and turn Chunin at age 12. Horoscope: Scorpio. Favourite food: Dango and sweat red bean paste soup. Hobby: Tea ceremonies. Affiliation: Konohagakure. Species: Human. Relationship: Single."

Anko gaped at the blonde. "Have you been spying on me, brat? Or are you keeping tabs on me secretly like a closet pervert you are?"

"Firstly, me wasting time spying on you? Pfft! What do you take me for? Desperate-for-a-shag kind of guy? Secondly, I'm not a closet pervert and I do not need to be. And if you're wondering how did I know so much, I read your profile."

"My profile? From Hokage-sama?" Anko's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"No? I barged into his room and found your profile in one of the drawers." Naruto sighed.

"I have a question to ask you."

Anko pinched her nose and drank the distasteful liquid. "Do you like being raped?"

Digesting every syllabus of the question, the Tokubetsu Jonin spat out her drink indignantly. "W-What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me." Naruto retained an emotionless facade. "Dressing up like a slut, getting drunk at night and have no friends to bring you home with. I'm guessing this is one of the main reasons why so many girls got raped at night in this village. I supposed that's what happens in other villages as well. Ca-"

Anko slapped the boy in utter umbrage, but was inwardly surprised that her palm was numb; it was as if she just slapped a titanium sculpture. "You don't know me! Don't you dare talk to me like you know me!"

An awkward silence intruded. Anko was blushing unconsciously and Naruto was pondering.

"I'm sorry." The blonde murmured. "I'm no good with communication. I guess that's what happens when you're a Jinchuriki, huh? You get shun from the society, you are scorned by the general populous and eventually, you despised the wretched society and cursed the people as payback. And pray to Kami's grandparents that one day this village will burn into a living hell."

Naruto chuckled as he stood up and strolled towards the kitchen apathetically. "I'm gonna go get some congee for you. It's probably ready now."

Rewinding the statement the blonde had spoken constantly in her mind, Anko felt disgruntled. She didn't know whether she should sympathise or hate the boy. After all, who would bother educating Jinchuriki? "Do you live by yourself?"

"Jinchuriki lives in solitude." Naruto yelled from the kitchen. Ladling the last scoop of congee into the bowl, the blonde ambled carefully towards Anko's bedside and gave the bowl gently to her. "I have been alone for my whole life. Besides, the only reason why I stay in this godforsaken place is because of… attachments. Otherwise, I would have left."

The Tokubetsu Jonin took a sip from the porridge and smiled. "You're good at cooking."

Naruto shrugged nonchalantly.

"I couldn't help but think that you have quite a good range of vocabularies and a decent grammar for someone at your age. Why?"

In retrospect, the blonde sighed. "A few years ago, I snuck into the national library and was devising a prank. I stumbled across a book that depicted the life of a humble ninja named after me. All of a sudden, I started to read unbelievably fast. And the next thing I knew, I read about five hundred books in two minutes and got hit by a migraine. I then found out that my photographic memory comes in with the package as well."

"Wow." Anko chirped. "That's pretty awesome. So, you have read pretty much all the books in the library?"

"For the sake of killing time, yeah." Naruto rose from his seat and walked away.

"W-Where are you going?"

"I'm going to inform the old man so he can suspend you from duty and that you're living in my suite temporarily." Without delaying any further, Naruto dissipated into a gentle breeze.

Anko simply watched the vacated spot immensely.

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Sarutobi observed the people before him cautiously. Standing before him was his old teammates, Koharu and Homura, along with Danzo and Hiashi. "As you four have known, yesterday, the Kumo ambassadors betrayed our trust and were attempting to kidnap the heiress of the Hyuga clan. I am in the conundrum of our next plan. Thanks to-"

As if on cue, the window shattered and Naruto emerged with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. "Wassup? Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Danzo frowned. "Such a detestable ingrate. We are in the mee-"

"Ah! Just in time. Please meet Naruto Uzumaki. The boy who bested the Kumo assailants and helped us captured the Kumo nins." Sarutobi smiled.

Koharu, Homura and Danzo scowled in disgust at the blonde, especially after identifying his status. "That's impossible! Hiashi-dono, surely this is a misunderstanding. This boy can't possibly-"

"Naruto is indeed our benefactor. I have seen him engaging in battle with my own eyes." Hiashi rectified.

Naruto turned his sights lazily at the Hokage and yawned. "I'm here to tell you that Anko Mitarashi will be living in my house for a while. She was attacked yesterday and I saved her hide. I hope you can get her a sick leave or something."

"I see. That's no problem then." Sarutobi smiled.

Jumping onto the sofa, Naruto placed his hands behind his head and rested cosily. "I have a solution for all of your problems. The Hyuga affair, right? Grandpa, I have the perfect resolution for your dilemma."

Danzo scoffed. "You think your knowledge is crucial enough to prove to Kumo that we are the victors? I suggest we march to war, annihilate all of them and take their Jinchuriki by force!"

Spontaneously, Naruto was seating on the Hokage's desk in a flash. "Yes, deliberately sending people into the battlefield while scheming hideously on how to takeover grandpa's title, great plan. Very smooth." Danzo clenched his fists in anger. "Anyway, grandpa, let's make a deal. I will help you solve this problem without triggering a war. Hell, I'll even tell you how to finish your paperwork without even lifting a finger."

Sarutobi widened his eyes. "W-What! Really?"

"Yes, but under three conditions. One, I get a travelling permit; this means that I get to leave this… good-for-nothing village whenever I want. Two, I will receive 25% commission for the treaty that I have formulated when it is at fruition. Three, you get to choose whether I dropout from your half-assed academy or I graduate immediately; I can't be bothered wasting time in the academy doing needless homework." Naruto rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Now at any given day, I'll be damned to get myself near one of these old big bags of fucks called a council but hey… desperate times. So what do you say?"

"Deal! If your plan works and it avoids an imminent war, you get the end of your bargain." Sarutobi chimed, much to Danzo's displeasure.

However, the Hokage immediately regretted his decision when a malicious smirk adorned on Naruto's face.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Anko was bored. The boy's suite was neat, but relatively plain. She had rummage Naruto's drawers, but only found clothes, beauty products, dried food and a few books. Surveying the blonde's table, she found an orange book with the word, 'Diary', embedded on it. Curiously, Anko flipped open a couple of pages and had an avid read.

_Dear Diary_

_Tomboy has been nagging at me to do the right thing. Why should I care? No matter give a shit about what I do. I think I'm going to set the village on fire soon if those villagers don't stop pissing me off. Of course I know Rin cares about me but she really needs to chill and give me her whiskeys! And Ayame always treat me like a little brother. I am not little! I just want ramen! I'm not beef with Rin or Ayame or anything but I need to breathe sometimes. Soon, I will find the opportunity to escape this village. I might be bound to this godforsaken place but I will leave soon. If it's a demon they want, then it's a demon they get! I only want to be a human. Is that such an impossible wish? I once thought that we, Jinchuriki, are warriors destined to save civilization. I guess I'm wrong. We are just products for destruction. But I'm no one's tool. I don't take shit from no one and I'll crush those who want to control me. I'm nobody's tool!"_

_Naruto_

Anko sighed. "He craves for affection, but when his attempts fail, he gives up. I think we can relate to that."

"What are you doing with my stuff?" Naruto materialised behind the Tokubetsu Jonin. "You have no right digging in on my things!"

The blonde snatched his diary away; his pupils distorted into slits as it illuminated a feral crimson. "Get out of my house."

Anko could perceive the murderous bloodlust radiated from the boy's frame. "N-Naruto-"

"GET OUT!" The blonde roared wrathfully.

Flinching at Naruto's enraged tone Anko left the apartment, leaving the blonde clutching his head in pain.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X  
(Naruto's mindscape)

**"Ho ho ho! We meet again, bozu." **Kyubi no Yoko cackled wickedly. **"Everybody is lying to you, Naruto. They are jealous of your mythical powers and your limitless strength. They hate you because of me. Even your precious grandpa lies to you so he could sleep at night. You have no one but me. Accept and fulfil your destiny."**

"My destiny?"

**"That's right. Unite my eight brothers and sisters together and conquer this world." **Kyubi grinned devilishly.

Naruto closed his eyes in deep contemplation. When he opened his slitted eyes abruptly, a sonic wave ruptured furiously, rippling his mindscape thunderously and Kyubi's smirk widened. "You don't order me around here, fox."

**"Still, you cannot deny the fact that everybody denies your existence. Soon, you will fulfil your destiny and take over this world. Very soon."**

The blonde simply smirked. "I'll take over this world without you telling me."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X  
(The next day)

Two men, one tall and underweight and the other being short and overweight, were stripped naked and hung upside down at the main gate of Konoha. While the adults were assaying the situation, spreading gossips and concealing their children's views, Naruto sped through the streets tantamount to a mirage of a shimmering thunderbolt. Within seconds, the blonde had reached the entrance of his classroom.

Leisurely, Naruto walked into the noisy classroom. Once he stepped foot into the room, it immediately became dreadful quiet. Ignoring the glares directed at him, Naruto strolled towards his desk, only to be blocked by Kiba. "What are you doing here, loser?"

"I'm attending class, Mr Obvious?" Naruto glared fiercely at the Inuzuka heir. "Get out of my face, mutt. Or I will make you."

"Make me? You got a lot of guts there, asshole!"

The blonde growled. "I hate to break this to you mutt but… you have just crossed my line."

Grabbing the edge of the nearby desk, Naruto tossed it and the table whizzed and crashed through the back of the classroom. Kiba cringed at the blonde's display of inhumane strength. "W-What are you... you're a freak! You should rot in hell and die, asshole!"

In a spur of moment, Naruto seized Kiba's collar and threw him at the wall. When the Inuzuka heir crashed onto the unforgiving concrete, Naruto was already standing beside Kiba's limp form. The Inuzuka heir quavered in fear before Naruto's intimidating presence and begged pitifully. "P-Please! I-I'm sorry, man! Please don't kill me!"

Without mercy, Naruto punched through the wall, his arm inches besides Kiba's temples. Momentarily, the wall cracked and collapsed as rubbles and debris covered the fainted Inuzuka heir. Twirling around, Naruto grinned diabolically. "Anybody else!"

The class remained silent.

"Listen, if you want to fool around like this dipshit over here, come and try it. Your parents are right. Listen to them because I am a demon in human's skin. If you hate me so much, then come kill me. I'm inviting all of you to do it. Well, that is… if you can." Naruto dusted his hands and stared at his gawking classmates awkwardly. "Okay, maybe I came on too strong. How about this? You lame ass bitches leave me alone and we all have peace. Sounds fair? Good."

His classmates swallowed audibly hard and jolted in fear when Naruto turned his sights at them again. "Just off the record, if I'm a demon as what your parents said… then should I be killing all of you right now?"

The blonde's statement, coupled by the psychotic grin tugging his lips, panicked the entire class.

"On second thought, maybe I won't. Hey, even devil has a heart, right?" Naruto sat down on his chair, slumped back casually and placed his feet onto the table.

The children pondered a bit; the blonde did make a point.

This only led them to question their parent's words.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"So you're saying the demon container rescued you like you're a damsel of distress." Kurenai teased playfully.

"Shut up!" Anko pouted. "I'm not a damsel of distress. I'm the viper that will devour you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that." Yugao giggled. "So, is this boy very strong? I heard that nobody has ever caught the pariah. Not even Hokage-sama. The ANBU said that they only saw an orange blur and the next thing they knew… they got their butt handed to them. My team even tried to catch him once but we just couldn't see him. In fact, Hokage-sama has announced that capturing him is beyond S-Class difficulty and whoever can catch the boy will win a grand prize!"

"Yeah! He is unnaturally fast. I think I'm going to rejoin ANBU so I can torture his crafty little ass!" Anko took another savoury bite from her dumpling.

"Wow. So, what is he like? Cute? Handsome? A pain in the ass?" Yugao queried in curiosity.

"No, but he is very weird. I just took a peak on his diary and he just freaked out or something. Then he kicked me out of his house." Anko folded her arms under her bosoms and huffed. "Nobody kicks the sexy Anko out!"

"Well, in his defence, you invaded his privacy. So, where does he live?" Kurenai asked as she dipped her dango on the sauce bowl and took a generous bite.

"He lives on the west side of town. In a white building. I don't see much people around there anyway. It's like he lives in the entire building all by himself or something." Anko spoke before taking another skewer.

"White building? You mean that white building on the Kurosen district? That white building with the Tulips logo?" Yugao scowled when Anko nodded. "That building is long emptied after the Kyubi incident. Nobody lives in that building, Anko."

"W-What? You mean?"

"Either he owns the entire building to himself." Kurenai concluded sternly. "Or he lives there illegally."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

It was lunch time and Naruto couldn't be more happier in his life. Before he could stand up from his seat, a boy confronted him. "Fight me."

"Yeah, loser! Just because you have some superhuman powers doesn't mean you will defeat Sasuke-kun!" Sakura grinned.

"Fight you? You think you can beat me? Not that it matters. Cause I'll send your cocky ass to the hospital before you can even blink." Naruto smirked shrewdly. "Besides, you'll be more than a dumbass to actually think you can beat me when I make the mutt crap himself an hour ago. So I'll suggest that you do me a favour… and do yourself a favour and get out of the way. Or I might have to bust your sissy ass open and stuff your head in it. And let me tell you what. You ain't wanna be in that position. It will suck... a lot."

"Oh yeah? Prove it, you freak!" Sasuke roared.

"...You're gonna regret calling me that." Flexing his wrist, Naruto backhanded Sasuke's face, sending the Uchiha heir through the window. "I don't need to punch losers, bitch slap will do."

Sakura gasped in anger. "How dare you! You're not supposed to hurt Sasuke-kun!"

The pinkette attempted to punch the blonde, only to have her fist caught swiftly by Naruto. "And you expect me to let him punch me? Are you an idiot or what? Though it won't hurt a bit, I think I will feel a bit violated. Oh well, I gotta go. And remember one thing. I can break your soft little hand if I want. But I didn't. So what does that make me?"

In a blink of an eye, Naruto disappeared.

Sakura simply stood there and contemplated.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"Get me a bowl of roast chicken, old man!" Naruto's sudden appearance jolted Teuchi in a panic frenzy. "Naruto! You damn brat! How many times did I tell you not to zap around like that? You want to kill me or something? I'm THIS close to a cardiac arrest!"

"Love you too, old man." The bar owner blabbed incoherent matters under his breath before preparing for his favourite customer's meal.

Ayame stormed towards the counter and hit the blonde on his head. "Naruto! Stop giving my dad a heart attack! Or I'm going to force you to seat down with me and we will have a long talk about your inappropriate behaviour!"

Naruto gulped; the last thing he needed was a 'long talk' with his surrogate sister. "I'm sorry!"

"Good boy. Oh, by the way, a few ladies are looking for you." Ayame wiped a bowl as she spoke. "They said they have urgent issues that need to be discussed with you privately."

"Urgent issues?" Naruto arched a brow. "They're not part of tomboy's waitresses, right? I swear I did _not _flip their skirts and pour mayonnaise into their panties in a heartbeat when tomboy refused to give me the whiskey! It wasn't me! You must believe me, sis!"

Ayame growled. "T-That was you? How dare you!"

"Oh, you're here." The pair switched their sights at the three customers standing on the entrance of the stall. "We've been looking all over for you."

The blonde narrowed his eyes at one of the familiar intruders. "Sis, are they the people who're looking for me?"

Ayame nodded excitedly. "Yup! Hi, Anko-san, Yugao-san, Kurenai-san."

Naruto rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Ayame before putting a few thousands ryo on the counter. "Do you have any pie? I'm starving and I can't wait any longer for the ramen."

Kurenai tapped the blonde's shoulder and smiled benevolently at the boy. "I'm Kurenai. We need to talk to you somewhere private."

"He's not in trouble, is he?" Ayame asked in solicitude.

Yugao shook her head. "No, we just need to talk to him."

"Just get me some pie when I come back." Anko gripped the blonde's collar and dragged him away with a smirk of a leviathan curled up her lips. "I want pie!"

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Anko slammed Naruto onto the wall of an isolated alley harshly. "Hey! That's rude. Is that how you repay someone who saved your ass from being raped?"

Kurenai sighed. "We have checked the records of the apartment you've been living in. Apparently, it is supposedly vacant for years."

"...Yeah? So?" Naruto averted his eyes away. "I did not hurt anybody anyway? It's vacant so I moved in. Simple as that."

"We have to report to Hokage-sama." Yugao frowned. "You're violating the law-"

Abruptly, the blonde vanished from his former spot and manifested behind the trio. "Hey, bite me, woman. Nobody lives there. It'll be a waste. So listen carefully, because I hate repeating twice. I don't give a shit about you knowing what I have done but trust me, if you tell grandpa about this, he'll force me to live in that half-assed-piece-of-crap place again. I assure you, ladies, if the three of you make shit happens, I will hunt you down and I will tear you three apart with my bare hands. And then I will burn this entire village into ashes and watch all of you dicks suffer."

"Is this a threat?" Kurenai bit her lower lips, trying her best to mask her fear. She knew well that Naruto was more than capable of doing that.

"No, it is a promise. Now, let's be civil. The diplomatic solution is this; I am allowing you to live and you keep this a secret for me. The icing of the cake will be this; I am allowing you to stay in that building whenever you want. I have connected water and electrical supplies to that entire building and there are fifteen rooms in there. I live at the top floor so the rest is all yours for the taking. Now, don't bother me and I am going to get me some pie."

Within nanoseconds, Naruto had blitzed away into a static blur with his unparalleled speed.

An uncomfortable silence intruded; the cats meowed, the wind rustling the bushes and the trios were dumbfounded.

Suddenly, the blonde reappeared back to his former spot and stared laxly at Anko. "And next time… for your own sake, call a friend before you get yourself drunk."

Naruto dissipated into a torrent of violent wind as he vanished seamlessly.

Anko was the first to speak. "Wow, didn't know we're so lucky today."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"Where's my pie!" Ayame jumped in shock. "Stop doing that! Naruto! Don't make me give you a tickle feast in the middle of the street!"

"I'm sorry!" Naruto pouted. "I just want pie. Love me some pie!"

The waitress blinked innocently. "Uh... about that. We... ran out of pie."

"No... pie?" Teuchi plated the ramen before Naruto and grumbled. "Forget about the pie and eat your damn ramen."

Naruto sulked and snapped the chopsticks. "It's okay. It's not like I can't take a short trip to Sunagakure and grab myself some octopus meatballs. Seriously, where did they get the octopus from? It tastes so good!"

Ayame arched a questioning brow. "Sunagakure? You've been there before?"

"Yeah?" Naruto inhaled his ramen delightedly before devouring his noodles. "Well, there was once I lost control of my super speed and ran all the way to Sunagakure, make friends with Gaara and his siblings and ran back."

"Gaara?" Teuchi asked.

"Yeah, a Jinchuriki, just like me. He's pretty timid and quiet for a guy. I wonder has he changed a bit or not? He carries a teddy bear with him all the time. I think I'm gonna hop by the toys shop and get him a bear for a present." Naruto smirked. "He has a cute sister and a brother who likes to play makeup. More of a reason I should visit him again. Watch them turn their village into complete chaos. That'll be my day."

"You know you sound crazy when you say that, right?" Ayame pinched her surrogate brother's nose playfully. "Finish your ramen first. And stop talking while chewing. Besides, you can always fly there. Why the need to run?"

"There is a limitation to my capability in flight. Until I reach the age of maturity, I can't fly too long." Naruto continued to eat his ramen. Unbeknownst to them, a person was eavesdropping on the conversation.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Done. So, how is my story? Please rate it out of a scale of 10. 1 being disgustingly weak and 10 being beyond excellence. Please do not joke around with the rating as it means a lot to me.

And yes, in my story, every Jinchuriki has a particular superman element in them. Naruto is special as he has all the superb attributes in exchange for losing his ability to perform ninjutsu. I can tell you that he is the only Jinchuriki who can't perform ninjutsu. :D (Note: that doesn't mean he is invincible! Superman isn't invincible. He got his ass kicked when you shove rocks up his ass!)

I will elaborate more on Naruto and Gaara's brotherly relationship.

Pairing is unsure.  
NarutoXTemari (heheh!)  
NarutoXTayuya  
NarutoXKin  
NarutoXHinata  
NarutoXIno  
NarutoXKurotsuchi (She's the Tuschikage's granddaughter so… Hey! I don't see anybody doing this pairing!)  
NarutoXAnko (I'm unsure of this. I plan to have an elder sister and younger brother relationship. I'll see how it goes.)  
NarutoXYugito  
NarutoXFu (Rare pairing. Might give it a shot.)  
I'm not sure with Shizune, Samui, Kurenai, Yugao and any girls that are not WAY too old for Naruto. That means Tsunade is out of the list.

Following intentional references: Smallville, Hancock, Supernatural.

Press the review button.

Hurry!


	2. A Devil's Deal

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X  
(~Chapter 1: A Devil's Deal )

What Naruto loved the most when he ran was the fact that time froze in his path. It was as if he was the only sentient being alive in the universe and he had halted the process of life for all life forms. In his pathway, the birds that soared in the sky stopped its trajectory, the blooming geysers of sands exploding beneath his feet were in a state of delayed tempo and the particles of dusts lingered in the atmosphere. He had anticipated that it would take him a few minutes to reach Sunagakure. He couldn't wait to meet Gaara and his siblings.

But Naruto had a craving.

He needed his octopus meatballs and he needed them fast or he might destroy the nearest town for spite.

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Anko, Kurenai and Yugao stood with formality in the office of the Sandaime Hokage.

Hiruzen sighed and stroked his chin. "So you're saying… Naruto has been living illegally in that building?"

"I'm afraid so." Yugao confirmed.

"What do you want me to do then, Yugao?" The Hokage eyed the veteran ANBU impassively.

"I believe we should have him moved out of that compound immediately."

"Suggestion… denied."

"W-What?" Yugao blinked. "Isn't that a crime to-"

"Nevertheless, this is Naruto we're speaking about. I'm sure he has threatened you not to disclose this particular information to me, right?"

Anko and Kurenai gulped.

Hiruzen sighed. "Very well. I will pretend this conversation has never happened before."

"B-But sir…" Yugao protested in uncertainty.

"Yugao, do as I said. That boy dislikes this village. We should not trigger his anger unnecessarily. Besides, he's leaving for a mission to Kumo." Hiruzen switched his attention to Anko sharply and smiled. "Can I trust you to lead this particular S-Class mission, Anko? Naruto shall be your teammate."

"H-Huh? Are you kidding me, sir? He's not even a genin!"

"Trust me, his power is beyond that of any ordinary genin." Hiruzen smirked. "You just need to control him, that's all. He gets distracted quite easily."

"You want me to control someone who can crush my skull in seconds?"

"Just get him to my office and I'll explain the importance of the mission. Besides, it was Naruto who requested you as his teammate."

Anko, Kurenai and Yugao gawked.

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Gaara was once a psycho killer with the quest to annihilate anybody who opposed him. The villagers were horrified of his presence and dare not provoked him. That would rather open a path for the demon to walk than to foolishly assault Gaara. Those idiots who tried to ambush Gaara never got to see the next sunrise. The Kazekage cared neither of his son's endeavour to seek acceptance nor Gaara's depression.

The villagers prayed that Gaara would become a prankster than a sinister murderer.

Sometimes, as the old saying had once said, be careful of what you wished for.

After the battle between Gaara and an enigmatic intruder of the village, the demon child had stopped his bloodbath frenzy and became a prankster.

Currently, Gaara was seating on the edge of the rooftop of the many buildings in Sunagakure, glancing anxiously at the crowd beneath him. He was searching for the next prey to pounce on and he needed to unleash that untamed thirst for screams.

His predatory gazes fell upon an oblivious man who he remembered vaguely. It was the man who organized an open hate-club dedicated for Gaara and he'll be damned to let the man got away with it. Twitching his fingers, the sand beneath the man's feet rose quietly and stealthy into his pants. Gaara snickered as he did his tricks; he filled the man's underwear with dirtied sands and laughed manically when the man started an itching frenzy in the middle of a crowd.

The air shifted slightly and Gaara's smile widened. "Naruto. Fancy meeting you here."

Seating beside him was his blonde friend who was holding a bag of octopus meatballs. Naruto shoved the bag to his friend and grinned. "Want some?"

"Nah. I prefer chocolate pudding."

The blonde chuckled and saw the escapade at the crowd. "I heard rumours of you becoming Suna's prank master. I didn't know that's a truth."

"Shit happens." Gaara shrugged before a demonic smirk plastered on his features. "How about you? Aren't you trying to destroy your village and watch the little kiddies get their brains splat on the wall?"

"…You know that's gross, right?"

Gaara blinked and tapped his lips. "No… I didn't realise that. Is it? Wow. That explains why the children next door seem to avoid me all the time when I speak about blood and gore."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Never mind. I just hop by to say hello and grab a box of octopus meatballs. Seriously, how do your village get octopus in the sand in the first place?"

"Simple. They got it in the sand." Gaara said it in a matter-of-fact tone.

Naruto arched a confused brow. "In the sand?"

"Yes. The Sandy Octopus." Gaara quirked his smug smirk at his best friend and elbowed him. "Didn't hear of it before, huh? Feisty piece of shit, I tell ya. It tries to kill me once. I crushed it with great vengeance and spilled its organs… literally. And then I sold them to the black market. Earn quite a fortune. But then I lost all of them in a bet. In the blind of rage, I murder my neighbour's newborn puppy. Ah! Good times."

"…Sandy Octopus? What do they look like?"

Gaara cocked a brow and deadpanned. "They look like… octopus?"

Naruto sighed. "Nevermind. Still, these octopus meatballs are the greatest. Second only to ramen. Say, how's your sister."

The redhead sighed. "One word. She crazy!"

Naruto was taken aback by his statement, stared at his fingers and spoke sceptically. "That's two words."

"Whatever. After I took the beating from you, I apologise to my siblings and Temari becomes the overprotective sister figure. You know?"

The blonde patted his best friend's shoulder in empathy. "I understand. I've been through that road before. You think you can rule the world but that sister of yours will interfere whenever your evil plans come in fruition. And if you try to deny her demands, she gives you the sad puppy-dog eye look and then the devils on your right shoulder will start to gang rape that angel on your left. You give in to your sister's desire and forfeit your master plan. Your master plan usually involves with taking over the world or making shit happens."

Gaara sobbed into his palm. "Oh god! Someone finally understands my pain! I can't do anything serious anymore nowadays. I think I lost my funk."

At that moment, a few assassins dropped down from… the sky and struck their fighting poses. "Hyah! Gaara-sama. It's time to die!"

The assassins stood no chance as Gaara was faster; his sand morphed into colossus sized hands, snuck their ways into the assassins' underpants and pulled huge wedgies on them. Naruto winced as the assassins collapsed onto the ground and cried aloud in agony.

"Ouch. That gotta hurt. A lot." Naruto shook his head and turned his attention to his best friend. "You know, death is a better punishment than… that."

Gaara shrugged. "Sis told me to lay off the hook of my usual killing spree. I spent a couple of days thinking of something better. That's the result."

"Great. God forbids you for thinking more horrific ideas." Naruto huffed. "The worst that I've done was pouring permanent ink on that old fart's hair dye. He shaved his hair bald the next day!"

"Hm. I pour superglue in that woman's hair dye. She almost resorts of cutting her hands off to remove her hands!" Gaara and Naruto guffawed aloud, but were interrupted by a shadow looming over them. Turning around, they saw a female blonde, with a fist on her hip, glaring at the boys. Naruto smirked uneasily and waved cheerfully at the intruder. "Hey Temari-chan. How's it going?"

"Oh. Naruto-kun, you're here. How wonderful. Will you join us for dinner tonight?"

"Uh… sure?"

Temari beamed. "Great! Now… about _that _incident… Gaara."

The redhead gulped. "I swore I didn't put cockroaches in your drawer. W-Well… I did put cockroaches in your drawer BUT it was all Kankuro's idea! I swear!"

Temari had already reached out for the battle fan stashed behind her back.

Gaara smiled sheepishly at Naruto and winked. "Uh… catch you in town later. See ya!"

With that saying, Gaara dissolved into a whirlwind of sands and vanished through the wind, leaving a fuming Temari gritting her teeth in frustration. "Urgh! Gaara! Don't let me catch you or I'll destroy you this time for sure!"

Naruto chuckled at the siblings' antics. Temari sighed and sat beside her fellow blonde. "So, what are you doing in our village, Naruto? You didn't sign in at the front gate, did you?"

"No? Why?"

Temari shrugged. "Nothing. That explains why my father suffers a heart attack from extreme hypertension just now."

"Is he dead yet?"

"No."

"Damn."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Dinner was vexing for Naruto. It was not the Kazekage's glare that the blonde was nervous about, it was the uncomfortable silence. Naruto hated silence. Temari's eyes darted from her father to her fellow blonde fervently and Kankuro was slurping his coke. Gaara simply stared at the plate of steak and mumbled something along the lines of, 'splashing heart is fun'.

"What brings you here to our humble-"

Kankuro coughed.

The Kazekage eyed his eldest son vehemently before smiling at Naruto. "As I was saying, what brings you here to our hum-"

An abrupt cough was heard.

The Kazekage whipped his attention at Kankuro and bared his teeth. His eldest son shrunk in fear and the father of the household regained his composure. "As I was saying before I was interrupted, what brought you here to our humb-"

Gaara coughed. "Humble? Nuh uh. Carnage. Yes!"

Everybody stared at the redhead awkwardly and Gaara sighed. "Sorry. I just want to say something."

The Kazekage sighed in defeat. "Just eat dinner."

Naruto picked up his bowl of potato salad, which piqued the curiosity of Gaara's family. The Kazekage arched his brow at the blonde. "What's wrong?"

"FOOD FIGHT!" The Kazekage was not prepared and a bowl of potato salad smashed at his face. Temari and Kankuro gasped aloud while Gaara widened his eyes in shock before a malicious grin curled up his lips. "I've been waiting for this moment for a long time!"

Gaara seized his plate of steak and threw it at Temari. The female blonde dodged the incoming assault. Meanwhile, the Kazekage removed the bowl off his face and wiped the stain on his face before a plate of steak slammed upon his face. Naruto and Gaara laughed manically as they ran off, leaving a certain fuming father in sheer irritation. "T-That's it! I'm dispatching the entire ANBU squad to kill that brat!"

A few hours later, the entire ANBU squad that the Kazekage had deployed were sent back with underwear on their heads.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"I guess this is farewell, Gaara." Naruto shook the redhead's hand and smiled. "Don't get into trouble too much. You know your father is out there trying to get you, right?"

"Whatever. He has failed more than 7410 times. I've already gotten used to it." Gaara smirked.

The blonde was taken aback by the assassination attempts. "Wow. Can you count up to 7000?"

"…No?"

"Should've seen that coming." Naruto turned his attention at Temari, who was standing quietly behind Gaara. "I'll see you around next time, Temari-chan."

"Take care of yourself, Naruto-kun. You know you're always welcome here."

"Yeah. See ya, Gaara, Temari-chan." The blonde winked at the group and dashed through the desert in the mirage of a golden thunderbolt.

Temari and Gaara waved their goodbyes at the trail of dusts. Kankuro was squatting in a corner, drawing circles on the sand with his fingers. "He didn't even acknowledge my existence…"

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

When Naruto reached the main gate of Konoha, he was met by a furious glare of a seething Anko. She was tapping her foot impatiently while radiating a murderous bloodlust; those that passed by her knew better than to mess with an angry Anko. She stood forward and poked Naruto's chest. "Where have you been?"

"I went to my friend's house, why?"

"A friend?" Anko was sceptic.

"Hey, doesn't mean I'm a sociopath that means I have no friends. He's in Suna." Naruto grinned. "Besides, I got myself some octopus meatballs. Want some?"

"No thanks. You're late for the debriefing for 23 hours, 16 minutes and 54 seconds. Congratulations, you just beat Kakashi's record. And you're not even an enlisted ninja yet." Anko nursed the migraine in her head and walked towards the Hokage tower. "Come on. Hokage-sama is waiting for you."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

The Sandaime Hokage was glaring at a sheepish Naruto after listening to the blonde's excuses. "So you're telling me that you went to Sunagakure to get octopus meatballs and in the process, you went to find a friend of yours. You have a friend in Sunagakure?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why am I not aware of that?" Hiruzen asked as he stared incredulously at the blonde.

"Do I need to report everything to you? Do you want to know when is the last time I went to take a shit in your toilet?" Naruto crossed his arm with an apathy demeanour plastered on his face. The Hokage sighed and conceded. "You're right. Anyway, are you sure your plan will work?"

"Duh. It's simple really. We bring the Kumo ninja back to them and they give us something in return. Leave the negotiations to me." Naruto grinned. "Okay. Let's go!"

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X  
(Two days later – Outskirt of Kumogakure)

Naruto had been annoying Anko for the past few days. Because Anko was incapable of running at the speed of sound, they had to resort in using a carriage in their voyage. During their trip, Naruto would pester Anko about their arrival time; Anko had nearly snapped by her sheer frustration at the blonde. However, there was nothing she could do to harm the boy; she just wanted to torture his ass and made the boy knew who's the boss in town.

When they reached their destination, Naruto hopped down from the carriage and greeted the guards with a wink. "Hello! We're Konoha's ambassadors who are going to meet the Raikage."

The guards scrutinised the blonde boy before studying Anko keenly. Staring at their documents in hand, the guards made way for them to enter. "The Raikage's office is at north. Just keep walking and you'll get there."

"Thanks." Naruto led their carriage into the village and towards the distinctive tower before them. The villagers were staring at them uneasily and Anko jumped down from the transportation vehicle before ambling towards the boy and whispered in his ears. "They're looking at us."

"So?" The blonde sniffed the atmosphere and smiled predatorily. _"They're here."_

"I feel like digging their eyes out." Anko gritted her teeth in frustration and shook her fist menacingly at a drunkard. "Piss off or I'll kick you in the balls."

Naruto guffawed at the older woman's antics.

As they reached their allocated destination, Naruto unloaded a giant bag within the carriage and hoisted it up over his shoulder. "Let's go."

The receptionists led the ambassadors into the Raikage's office after scanning the authenticity of their documents. When they reached the top floor of the Raikage's chamber, Naruto kicked open the door and threw the sack into the room. Naruto simply ambled into the room lackadaisically, jumped onto the couch and grabbed a candy from the side table. The Raikage arched a confused brow before growling at the insolent child. "Who are you and how dare you barge into my room so stylishly!"

"I am Naruto Uzumaki. That's Anko." Naruto pointed a finger at the nervous woman standing on the doorway and then switched his attention at the moving sack. "Wanna guess what's inside the bag?"

The Raikage glared at the boy.

"Four days ago, your ninja infiltrated my village and tried to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress. Am I not right, old man?"

"You got lots of nerve talking to me in such a tone-"

"Answer the question, old man."

A crossed his arms and scoffed. "Why should I answer your question? You don't tell me what to do."

"Very well-"

At that moment, a lightning bolt crashed into the building and from the midst of the confusion revealed a tall man with a dark complexion and had seven swords stashed behind his back standing before them. "Brother! I sense a Jinchuriki in our village."

"What? Jinchuriki? Where?" A was startled.

"In your office." Kirabi panicked.

Naruto simply grinned. "Look here, idiots. I'm the Jinchuriki."

A smirked. "So Konoha sends their weapon here to negotiate a treaty with me?"

"You talk as if I'm loyal to that village. Tell you what. I can't wait to burn that village down to ashes and turn your village to nothingness. However, there are some… complications that are preventing me from doing just that. And you're mistaken. I did not come here to negotiate a treaty with you. I come here to offer a proposal."

Kirabi took the opportunity to interrupt. "And why should we listen to ya? Who knows what you're up to, no?"

"I'm nine. You're eight. I am, in many ways, superior to you." Naruto smirked as Kirabi and A widened their eyes as they deciphered the blonde's statement. "Besides, I have always been trying to find a worthy opponent. Now that one is standing in front of me… oh well…"

The blonde vanished into a torrent of violent wind before reappearing before Kirabi with his foot slammed onto the elder Jinchuriki's face. Kirabi sailed through the air and crashed through the buildings. A clenched his fists and charged towards Naruto. The boy simply ducked at the approaching punch and launched a kick at the Raikage's chin. A recoiled from the impact and soared through the sky as he burst through the ceiling. Naruto cracked his neck and grinned. "Well, that isn't so hard-"

"Hey punk!"

Naruto twirled around, only to meet Kirabi. The blonde had no time to dodge the elder Jinchuriki's kick; as the impact collided against Naruto's face, the boy was sent flying through the concrete walls and away from the tower.

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Anko was dumbstruck by the destruction before her. Fortunately for her, nobody had noticed her, even when she was standing in the middle of the ruined office.

Shrugging casually, Anko hopped off from the office and made her way to the nearest dango stall.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Yugito sniffed the air and was horrified by another presence of her kind lurking in the village. As if on cue, the mountain located at the outskirt of the village was suffering devastating explosions. Without delaying any further, the nimble ninja sped towards danger in the mirage of a blazing fireball.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Naruto levitated in the air and smirked disturbing at Kirabi. "I gotta hand it to you. You got me there."

Instantly, the blonde disappeared into a golden flash and reappeared before the elder Jinchuriki. Kirabi didn't have time to react as his face was pummelled into the ground. Naruto didn't grant the elder Jinchuriki any opportunity to rest as he stormed his leg onto Kirabi's face; a crater erupted beneath them. Naruto seized Kirabi's foot and tossed him away. As the elder Jinchuriki sailed through the air and crashed through a colossus tree, Naruto darted into hyper acceleration towards Kirabi and delivered a punch.

The outcome was disastrous as the village suffered quakes.

"I'll show you my true power, Hachi! You'll die and I'll be the best-"

With the obscurity of the smoke, Naruto didn't notice that Kirabi had recovered partially from the previous assault and swiftly punched the blonde.

Naruto groaned in agony as he was blasted a few miles away. Kirabi wiped off the blood dripping from his jaw and growled. "This ain't good. The boy is all riled up now."

Back at Naruto's crash site, the blonde stood up as if nothing had happened and cracked his neck. "Ah. That's a pretty good warm up, don't ya think? Brother?"

"No psychotic nut-head is a brother of mine." Kirabi showcased his palm at his opponent and roared. "Lightning style: Thunder Saber!"

Electric bolts blitzed forward but Naruto had anticipated the imminent assault. Without hesitation, the blonde's eyes flashed a murderous crimson before twin pairs of beams shot at the incoming lightning. The clash of both assaults destroyed the centre of the collision and split the ground into halves. Naruto yelled as he applied more power into his blazing eyes, pumping an excessive amount of demonic energy into his cornea.

Kirabi thrust his free arm forward and conjoined his attacks into one. "Lighting style: Lightning Dragon Tornado."

Naruto gritted his teeth in frustration as he bellowed fiercely. "Your flimsy attacks are nothing to me!"

Dispersing his flaming eyes, Naruto inhaled a deep breath before expelling a freezing mist out from his mouth. Simultaneously, the dragon composed of violent wind was frozen into an ice statue. Kirabi blanched in horror as his attacks were nullified and growled. "This is going nowhere. And I can't see him when he runs… damn it!"

"_In terms of brute strength, Bee, you might beat him… but his overall stats are monstrous." _The Hachibi reminded.

Naruto smirked as he sped towards Kirabi; he never saw another entity running towards him.

When he had sensed an intruding aura, he was punched by a fist of scorching flames and was launched to an opposite tree. Naruto slumped to the ground and shook his head to regain his proper sight. The blonde saw a blonde woman tending to Kirabi's injuries. In the nexus of rage, Naruto vanished into a rushing torrent and reanimated his frame behind the woman. Snatching her shoulders, the blonde threw her away.

She made a few acrobatic flips, manipulated her sudden momentum into overdrive and darted towards her enemy. Naruto twirled around and saw the woman running towards him while her body was ignited into azure coloured flames. Impressed by her speed, nonetheless, Naruto punched the ground and it cracked in an outline of a spider-web fashion, leaving a gaping hole embedded into the ground. The woman evaded the clever, tactical attack and leaped into the sky.

The woman hadn't predicted that Naruto could fly.

The blonde flew towards her in a spur of seconds before delivering a punch at her chin. Unable to regain her conscious at proper timing, the woman fell into the ground and left a crater beneath her. Naruto smirked maliciously as he descended to the ground.

"Hey punk!"

Naruto swirled around, only to meet an incoming fist charging at his face.

Kirabi grinned in victory as a sonic ripple of clouds blasted as a result of his strength. His victory was short when the smoke dissipated; Naruto was holding onto the fist with the grin tugging at his lips. "That trick doesn't work twice, idiot."

"I know." Naruto enlarged his eyes in horror as he looked at his abdomen; a fist, enhanced by electricity, was buried into his stomach. "That's why I've made preparation, boy! Lighting style: Zeus's Raging Thunderbolt!"

The blonde coughed out blood when a gargantuan lightning pierced through his stomach and in the process, he was repelled away by the aftershock and crashed through a few trees before coming to a dead stop. Kirabi panted in exhaustion before running towards his apprentice and cradled her in his arms. "Yugito, are you alright?"

"Y-Yes…" Kirabi aided his apprentice in a standing posture. "Is he dead?"

"I leave a hole in his stomach. That ought to do the trick, yo."

They were petrified when they heard a laugh of amusement. Yugito turned and saw Naruto standing before them with a bloody hole in his torso. "I-Impossible… that wound should've-"

The wound regenerated and the Kumo's Jinchuriki could see the blonde's organ restoring in tremendous amelioration at an astounding speed. "Damn, that hurt a lot. But it takes more than just that to kill me. And what's this? You're alive. I guess that knock-out punch isn't enough to knock a Jinchuriki out."

"You're intoxicated by your power, boy!" Kirabi reprimanded. "Because of what you are-"

"Naïve!" Naruto grinned, his sharp fangs bared at the pair. "We are demons. We are born to be stronger than those humans. They are the inferiors! They are jealous of our power, which is why they are scorning us. This village is the same as mine. They all have those looks. Those eyes… I recognise them and I know the two of you notice that too."

The blonde crossed his arms and scoffed. "Or are you so ignorant to not see that too?"

"Y-You're wrong!" Yugito protested.

"I'm right! And you know I am!"

Kirabi stood firm but he knew Yugito was shaking by reality. She was trembling, almost quavering at those words.

"Why are you letting those humans own you? Why are the two of you giving those humans the chance to control you? Why are you not fighting back? We are born to be demons. We're chosen to become the monster we are today. Don't give me those bullshits of saying you're a human. Because you're not! The day they seal those demons into us, we've forfeited our lives to ever become a human. Besides, a ninja isn't much a human anyway. Worst of all, they treat us as mere animals."

"We are not animals!" Yugito roared.

"Oh no, we aren't. We are demons. We are born to kill." Naruto grinned. "I'm sure you agree with me, don't you? The emptiness within you, waiting for someone to fill that gap for you, we should all understand. Because you're not alone. That is why… I have only one request."

"Request?" Kirabi arched a brow.

"Join me. Together, we will make a true utopia. I am planning to gather the nine of us together. With our combined strength… we can have this world to ourselves. Make the rules as we go. Change the way of beliefs as we rule."

Yugito was uncertain but Kirabi shook his head. "I reject."

Naruto smirked. "Why's that? Afraid to overthrow your older brother?"

"No. It is about morality. This is wrong and you don't know anything, boy!" Kirabi stormed towards the blonde and launched a fist.

Naruto deflected the blow by punching the approaching assault, leading to a catastrophic clash of explosion. "You are still young, still immature to this world. If you try your hardest, you can change the view of your people!"

"And have you change the view of your people?"

"Yes!" Kirabi said in confirmation but Naruto noticed Yugito was averting her eyes away at the sideline.

"Really? Because I don't think your situation is the same as her."

Yugito gulped as she held her hands.

"Admit it. You cannot change anything! You're respected and feared because you're protected by your brother! They think twice before they attack you because your elder brother is the Raikage. But for people like us. Common people with hidden ancestry… do you really think people will give a shit about us? I'm sure she has been attacked more than I have. Do you know why nobody attacks me at my birthday?" Naruto grinned iniquitously. "Because I've broken all of their legs and used it to smash their skulls!"

"You're insane!"

"Insane? I call it self-protection!" Naruto growled. "Are you saying that our kind deserves to be treated this way? Are you implying that we are a bunch of masochists waiting for humans to torture us? Oh no! I resent that because I don't take shit from no one! Join me, Kirabi! Your delusions will not get you anywhere! Join me and we'll create a world where we can be respected! Together… we can create our utopia. It will be a world where we can show to those fools that we are not the inferiors. That the inferiors are them… the humans!"

"You fool!" Channelling all of his demonic power, Kirabi punched Naruto across his face and sent the blonde pummelling into the ground. "We are humans! We are the jailors of the demons, not otherwise! You are the delusional one here!"

"If you're not with me, then you're against me!" Naruto scowled. "I have no use for you now!"

Angrily, Kirabi seized Naruto's collar and threw him onto the ground before punching him. "You don't understand the hard work that Yugito and I have done to show to our village that we are not abominations! You will not ruin our effort! Yugito! Bind him with your flames!"

There was no respond and Kirabi swirled his attention to his apprentice. "Yugito! What are you waiting for?"

"I-I'm sorry… sensei… but the boy is right." Yugito's features were concealed by an ominous shadow. "I have suffered more than enough from the humans."

"Don't be brainwash by the boy! Be strong! You're Nii Yugito, the girl who never gives up!"

Naruto grinned. "Kirabi, just join me. I'm sure Yugi-chan has witnessed the extent of my powers. The power of unrestraint mayhem is the happiest thing in the world! I am not bound to any village, so don't be foolish to think that I am loyal to a village who despise me. And I'm sure Yugi-chan can understand the pain and misery of being chained to this godforsaken-"

"Be quiet!"

"Never!" Naruto roared. "You can lie to me. You can lie to Yugi-chan but you can never lie to yourself! Think about what the village has done anything for you and think about what you have contributed to the village to prove your worth, just to gain a mere praise from the minority of the population!"

With a loud slap from Naruto's hands, Kirabi was repelled by a powerful shockwave with enough strength to throw the elder Jinchuriki away. Naruto stood up and dusted the dirt away from his clothes. "I'm giving you this last chance. Join me and let's create a utopia together!"

Yugito stood before Naruto and sighed. "Please give us some time to think."

The blonde boy simply smiled in understanding. "Okay. That's fine with me."

Kirabi emerged from the debris and grunted. "There is nothing to think. I will never betray this village."

"I see. Your loyalty is truly inspiring. Sadly, that loyalty is placed on the wrong person. Nevertheless, Konoha requests compensation from Kumo. If your brother doesn't agree with our proposal… then we'll go war with you. If I am you, I'll advice that brother of yours to prevent an incoming war. If you wish to fight me that badly, throw that proposal out of the window and we'll meet in the battlefield. If that is what you want."

Naruto waved a hand goodbye at Yugito and Kirabi before vanishing into a torrent of jet stream.

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Anko was eating her dango happily, completely oblivious of the chaos outside the store. People were panicking when the village was suffering never before earthquakes. Children were crying a misfit and the ninja systems were struck by a disorganized jeopardy. Abruptly, Naruto materialised his frame beside Anko and snatched a skewer from her plate of dango. "Yo, Anko-chan, how is your day? Enjoying the breeze?"

"Oh, you're back." Anko chewed off the last bit of her dango and scowled. "You left me there to rot. It isn't nice to leave a lady all by herself."

"You're handling it well though." Naruto smirked. "At any rate, by tomorrow, the Raikage will give us an answer."

"Oh? Any predictions?"

"He will either declare war on us-"

"What?" Anko bellowed in shock.

"Or he will agree with my proposal." Naruto grinned. "I left it in his… office before I came here."

"Oh… so… do you think he will roll with the peaceful negotiation thingy or…"

"He's most likely going to declare war on us but hey! Who cares? Worst case scenario, many people die." Naruto bit the dango off the skewer and munched.

"That's the point! Many people are going to die!"

"So? At the very least, Konoha and Kumo got the title of 'the stupidest stupid in the history of mankind'. Seriously? Unleashing a full-scale war just because of a failed attempt of kidnapping a girl who happens to have a set of eyes that can see through your clothes. That is laughable." Naruto scoffed. "Don't worry. Konoha will survive… I think."

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"What audacity! Are you saying he, by himself, stands on par with the two of you? Brother! Tell me that's not true!" The Raikage bellowed.

"I'm afraid so."

"Damn it. If we go to war, he is enough to stall the two of you, giving Konoha the chance to-"

"He did mention that his loyalty is not bound to Konoha." Yugito reminded.

"Hmm… you're right."

"So I suggest we recruit him to be one of us." Yugito chirped.

The secretory tapped A's shoulder and frowned. "I've discovered the roots of the boy."

Kirabi and Yugito were curious now.

"Well? What is it?"

"His parents- No, I should say that his late parents are the deceased Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Naruto. His mother's identity remains… unknown."

"What!" A, Kirabi and Yugito were horrified. "That's not possible. Wait! Now that you mention it, he does resemble that bastard well."

"Bro, what should we do?"

"I've an epiphany." Everybody twisted their head and stared at the female secretory. "Apparently, from his previous statements, he seems to dislike his village. I also suspect that the Hokage didn't tell him the truth. However, he might actually hate the Hokage for not telling him the truth. The fact that Namikaze Minato has more enemies than anybody in the entire Shinobi nation does compelled the Hokage not to tell Naruto-san the truth."

"The truth… as in the truth that his father is…"

"That's right. This is only a deduction. Personally, I believe the best plan is to accept the proposal and in turn, we request for a condition."

"A condition?"

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

"What!" Anko was utterly confused by the Raikage's statement. "You want the brat to be the Ambassador for Konoha?"

"And we also wish to employ him to be our mercenary. Since he is not a shinobi of Konoha, he has the freedom to choose his allegiance. I do not mind if he wants to fight for both villages. It might actually do some good for the both of us. It was an efficacious decision to forcefully bring the Hyuga heiress here to work with us. Rest assure that we only want her to fight for Kumo. We have no other ill intent beside that."

Naruto nodded his head and a solemn expression was adorning his face. "I agree with that. I actually like this place. I don't mind working for Kumo. Besides, under the jurisdiction of Konoha's citizen policy, as long as one is not a solider from the military of Konoha's shinobi force, one can choose to be a merchant for other villages. I believe the current Hokage hasn't remove this law yet."

"You can't be serious, Naruto!"

"It's alright. I'm sure this is the only way the Raikage will sign the proposal. Am I right?"

The Raikage nodded. The secretory, Kirabi and Yugito stood silently behind their leader.

"Very well. Konoha will accept your condition."

Inwardly, Naruto was laughing manically. _"All according to plan…"_

X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X-o-X

Yes! I'm not sure if I want to turn Naruto into a boy-scout like Superman.

I still prefer him having a personality like Hancock.

His pairing remains undecided.  
1.) NarutoXAnko  
2.) NarutoXYugito  
3.) NarutoXTayuya  
4.) NarutoXIno  
5.) NarutoXHinata  
6.) NarutoXHarem  
7.) NarutoXSuggestion

To be honest, I won't be updating all of my stories any sooner. My mom has cancer and I don't really have any mood to write anything.

Oh well, life stinks.

Please review.


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